


(You’re So) Deadly

by dvrling



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: Thrillkiller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvrling/pseuds/dvrling
Summary: Bianca Steeplechase has led Batwoman to a well-lit, clean-looking establishment on Gotham’s east end.





	

Bianca Steeplechase has led Batwoman to a dimly-lit, clean-looking establishment on Gotham’s east end. Bruce knows it must be corrupt, because that’s how these things go-- the servers are all cannibals and the patrons are all packing heat. It’s a testament to how Joker can work her filth and depravity real deep and real high. This probably used to be a nice place.

Bruce can see the blue-green tint on white of Joker’s skin from across the bar. The neon sign on the stage wall (which says “BAR & ENTERTAINMENT VENUE”) illuminates her figure. Her hair is cut short at the nape of her neck, and the front has fallen into strands. She’s wearing a bright evening gown, split to the hip. Everything about her _shines_. Her hands are on her hips as she talks to some greasy band players.

Bruce starts across the floor, and Joker turns to her as soon as she’s taken a few steps.

“Dearest, darling, sugar-baby, pumpkin-pie,” Joker says. “I’m so glad you came.”

Bruce says, deadpan, “I didn’t have a choice, Steeplechase.” But she did.

“Don’t pretend we haven’t had a number of _no_ - _show_ dates. And I can’t believe how many times I’ve had to say, it’s “Joker” to you.” She runs a hand through her hair. “If you’ll just give me one second. I’m setting some things up with the band.”

Some of the people at the bar stare at Bruce and take out their guns. Oh, what a woman! they think. What a bombshell! And those muscles! Shame she has to be nullified. A real shame.

“Something to keep you occupied,” Joker says, adjusting the front of her dress. “It’s about time to start the music.”

And the music starts. A theme to punch faces by and chew bubblegum to. Joker is singing, but Bruce can’t make herself focus on the words. Probably they’re something sappy about love. Or VD.

Sounds that shouldn’t be there. Rings, bells, whistles, low guitar washes, doo-wop vocals twisted into smooth layers behind Joker’s voice. She’s alone. But there is so much to hear. Electric sounds carve up the background. It’s beautiful-- something horrible composed through a filter that makes Bruce’s heart race doubly as she kicks the insides _out_ of Joker’s employees.

Something beautiful that makes Bruce wonder what may have happened if Joker had gone into the entertainment industry. Then, she thinks, That’s all any of this is to her. Entertainment.

A vaguely instrumental whine picks up in the air and rends it in two. Sounds like the band is having fun-- quadraphonically, somehow. It’s very distracting. Bruce almost loses her footing.

The high, strained wah-wah repeats like a siren-- wailing, smacks of death and heartbreak. But Joker looks all right. She dances, and flourishes, rising and falling slightly with the guitar and aligning her feet with the bass line. Intricate playing compliments elegant movement. She is as fine with pop as a youth playing soda jerk.

As the song falls back into melody, and the chorus begins again, Bruce is pretty close to winding down the fight. Joker twirls the mic cord and says, “Oh, please, please, dance with _me_ , Bat-chick.” She descends from the stage.

“What was _that_?” Bruce says. “What’s _here _?”__

__“Well, gosh, Batwoman, I just wanted to do something _sweet_ for you.”_ _

__“Sweet,” Bruce says._ _

__“Yeah,” Joker says, (pronounced “yah”), “and wasn’t it, though? I think I’ve certainly earned something. Here’s a proposish-- how about-- how about you give us a little _kiss_ , doll?” she says. She puts a painted nail to her lower lip. “I promise it’s not poisoned. Not for you.”_ _

__Bruce punches her in the jaw._ _

**Author's Note:**

> [title src](https://youtu.be/oeyI0r-L5OY)


End file.
